Last night I can the closest I've ever come to a panic attack. I went to bed after a mostly unpleasant day of intrusive memories. My chest got tight. I just was scared and say and yet couldn't pin it on anything. I tried for an hour to go to sleep but then evantually got up and took an Ambien. It still took about 20 minutes but I finally got to sleep then.
Due to the Ambien I slept late and didn't wake up in time to make it to church. But I watched the live feed of what was left of the service. I was barely awake and don't really remember what the sermon was.
I am trying to remember that my emotions are a choice. And today is better than yesterday, so that is something to be thankful for.